Parenting and Divorce

Parenting styles can differ greatly after divorce. Some couples find it difficult to communicate or spend time together post-divorce and limit this to a minimum in order to avoid confrontation and arguments. On the other hand, some individuals take a more liberal approach and continue to participate in family holidays and activities together. While every couple will choose what is best for their situation, they will all agree that the most important thing is their children’s welfare.

Five tips for parenting effectively during divorce

1)   Take care of yourself

Divorce can be a stressful process and can be physically and mentally draining. In order to care for your family, you must first be in a position to do so. Looking after your health and mental wellbeing is crucial in enabling you to do this. Taking time out to relax and ensuring you maintain a proper diet and get enough sleep is important.

2)   Don’t speak negatively about your ex in front of the children

As difficult as it may be, speaking badly of your ex-partner will leave children feeling confused about their feelings and opinions and can often make them feel alienated. Keeping talk about your ex to a minimum or cutting it out altogether may be a sensible option until raw emotions have gone and you feel you are ready to speak less negatively about them.

3)   Try to stay as united as possible to co-parent effectively

Parents who disagree and argue about parenting issues can make children feel unsafe and insecure. Divorce creates disruptions in their lives, so trying to maintain as much stability as possible is key. It is natural for divorcing parents to want to indulge their children to try to make up for the distress they feel they are causing them, but what they really need are parents who are making sensible, joint decisions based on what is best for them.

4)   Create authentic communication with your children

It is important to be honest with your children and not be tempted to sugar-coat everything to try to shelter them from reality. It’s alright to show them how you feel as that will allow them to be honest and show you how they feel too.

5)   Be aware of your children

With so many changes happening, it’s easy to put all your energy into simply getting through the divorce. Your children may seem to handle it all well but it is important to keep an eye out for any indicators that they aren’t doing as well as they seem. Loss of appetite, lack of interest, more tantrums etc are all signals that something might be troubling them.

If you are dealing with divorce, please call 01246 555 610 to arrange a free, no obligation consultation with one of our experienced solicitors. Arming yourself with accurate legal information from the outset can be vital in the resolution of your matter.